This is my Breakthrough.
Posted on June 29, 2008
To people reading this: Please don’t ask me what i’m talking about, it’s not anything personal against you, it’s just something between me and God that i’m saying…
Oh Lord, i’ve made some big mistakes with this, but you keep taking me back and forgiving me for repeating them. Thank you.
I’m so tired of falling back in the same hole that i’ve been stuck doing for years. I hate disappointing myself and God like this. But somehow i haven’t been able to stray away from this thing from Satan, this sin and burden on me from time to time.. And you know what, I’m taking a stand. I’m done doing all this, it’s seperating me from my Jesus. And that just has to go, right now. Lord, you know what i’m talking about, and i’m so glad i can come to you.. You’re my Savior and i have no idea what i’d be like without you. Except in hell and a complete mess.
You’ve fully opened my eyes and i’m so glad. at 4 in the morning too. heh, very nice on timing, no doubt. 
anytime you reveal to me something important, is perfect timing for me. I wanna cry out of feeling so free knowing this sin and burden has just been taken from me.. i can’t right now, but i know i might later sometime along the road…
I just had to put this down in writing/typing somehow. So i figured anywhere would be fine and i was on the internet, so i thought why not.. but really i can’t believe this, and i fear coming back to this specific sin because of the past promises and attempts to break it. But i know with God’s armor i can defeat this thing once and for all… Oh Lord, thank you. thank you. THANK YOU!!! lol, i can’t say that enough.
And I just gotta say that i’m done falling down, and pleasing Satan by sinning. The picture of hurting you every time i sin at all, hurts my heart a lot. But with this particular burden, it scars me to think of every time i’ve ever fallen with this and how each time it hurts you skin deep.. Oh man, it make me sad and so angry at my flesh nature. But you triumph, and i’m so glad.
I’m ready for you to take control of the steering wheel and help me overcome and conquer this. As i wrote this the verse came into my head, “we are more than conquerors in Him who loved us.” Thank you Lord. It amazes me that you’re already equipping me now, minutes after i gave this up to you fully.. I’m listening to Wrap Me In Your Arms by Michael Gungor and scripture like that is coming into my head.. Amazing, everything our God does.. isn’t it.
Well, my last thoughts of this… Let’s Do This, Lord! I’m ready, i’m with you all the way, and i love you.
Now, to everyone reading this: I just have to say, keep perservereing to serving God. Satan can trip us a lot if we give him the chance, i know. But God’s so much bigger than him, and has all power over him. Don’t let what Satan tries to do to get you down stop you in any way from walking on the path God’s set for me and you. Satan has many ways of deceiving us, and we have to be careful we don’t fall into his trap.. I can’t stress this all enough, please don’t let your guard down. And if you’re like me and you’re struggling with a sin or problem, keep coming to God with it, don’t get distraught over it. He keeps every promise he gives us in Scripture and to us. If you’re like me and you’ve fallen down repeatedly don’t get discouraged, just stand up again, dust yourself off and keep equipping yourself with God’s armor. You can do it, i have no doubts. God’s timing is different from what we want at times, but it’s perfect and He can suprise you. Have faith in Him and in yourself that you can conquer whatever it is you’re trying to overcome. Keep loving God, trusting in Him, and being in His presence, and i promise you… He won’t let you down.
God Bless all of you. and thanks for reading this.
In Him, Desiree Roxanne C.
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Storms and Blessings.
Posted on December 9, 2007
I have a lot that I’m thinking about. From the morning service and RAM, the message hit me. In all I knew exactly what Sean was talking about. The fact of doing things without any feeling or pretending. I used to do before. I know how that feels. I thought after the message about how I was doing things and living for God. The things I have going on in my life got me feeling discontent because some of it is forcebly holding me back from being able to grow in my relationship with God and my desire to be near Him more.
I’m tired of seeing people at school who pretend, who are two faced, or who don’t care about doing things for Jesus. It hurts to know that some think that way. I won’t give up on changing things for God. I’m determined to keep trying to do that. But my human instinct is that I’m getting exhausted of trying and tired of getting faces or gettting made fun of. It’s sometimes difficult at my school as I’ve mentioned, my own home, and even with my friends who go there. When I’m at church, I’m not alone in how I feel for Jesus and wanting to serve Him. I’m always refreshed and happy to be there.
I don’t understand why people turn on God and what He wants for us and our lives. Why they mock and criticize those who love Him. It doesn’t make sense. I’m going on a Missions trip in February and most of the people going to Vegas like me aren’t right in their heart about it. They’re just going for the wrong reasons instead for helping those in need there of Jesus. People can afford to go to my school, but would rather go somewhere else and continually say how much they don’t like it there. It’s not a bad school, but the people there don’t want to change it. There are others including me who overall like it there and want to bring Christ back into everything and want to live their lives for God. Who can hardly afford to go there.
My family doesn’t like me going to Church. At least to Scottsdale First Assembly. My parents think it’s too far in distance and I guess still think so but have accepted the fact that I’m going no matter what Sundays. So my dad drops me off and picks me up. They won’t let me go on Tuesdays when it’s a school night. So, so far I’ve only gone to one Tuesday night service. Thanks to A.J. who brought me. Otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to even though we had the day off, cus of distance and no one to drive me. My sister dislikes the fact that I’ve changed this year because I’ve been transformed by God, and want to do things His way. My mom has thought before that I go because of a boy and not really for the message. My whole family claims to be Christian still though don’t live it out. It’s hard to deal with the facts of that and how they are different from me since I’m not who I used to be. I can’t understand why they would think I would go for those reasons, instead of for My Jesus, growing, and fellowship. But I’m giving it to God. I love it at church. I have even thought of staying in state for college to keep going there even though that’s a few years away.. hah so yeah, I guess I like it a lot it seems. Some of my friends at school don’t like it when I tell them to change a song because it’s not God honoring and try to get to comprimise, or want to argue about it. They have told me that they’ve wanted the old Roxanne back at times before a few months ago, and again that I’m not the same as I used to be. But along with my family, I guess they’ve accepted the fact that I’m staying the way I am, and in the way that will glorify God. They are Christians too.. and they’re not bad people, I’ve known most of them for years. Some of them are fine with everything and beginning to do the same..
Another Storm: My Mom’s had breast cancer for 7 years, it’s the 3rd time cus it came back a pretty good while ago. I’ve been praying for her to be healed. Financial stuff is pretty low right now, and my parents have been stressed about that, and I’m praying too. My Parents relationship hasn’t been good some years which does make things sometimes uneasy and difficult at home :\, but I’m praying as well and have faith God will move in that. My Sister has some difficulties and differences. Both her and my dad aren’t strong in Jesus. Whether they don’t know Him at all or know Him but are far away from Him. I’m not sure, but I’m praying for they will come to know Him for the 1st real time or come back to Him. Though sometimes I get sad about some of the challenges I have or have experienced, I find my shelter, encouragement, and more strength in God, I know He controls all and He’s with me. So it’ll be all right. :}
Anyway, I could complain, but I don’t want to do that like I did some time before, I want to focus on my blessings. I felt I should vent what I’ve been dealing with, and share some too. Sorry for making that long by the way. Things aren’t always the best, and aren’t always easy but I find my joy in God and love those that God’s put in my life that make it all the more blessed, like the friends I have at church. There are a lot of things Satan has tried to deal with to bring me down. But I won’t give him the satisfaction, I have strength from Jesus and I’m going to overcome the storms I have. :] I know that God will not put me through more than I can handle, that I grow and gain experience from them too. God has given me a great Church family, really good friends there as I’ve said and some elsewhere. I’ve been blessed.
I also wanted to say thanks. A lot of you have really helped me and been a blessing in the past couple of months since I started coming to Scottsdale First Assembly. I’d love to get to know everyone more including the good friends I already know. And also that no matter how tough a storm can be, God’s always there and He’ll conquer all of them. :]
A lot of Love <3
and God Bless You All †
-Roxanne
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My Birthday
Posted on November 19, 2007
well my birthday is today. I just wanted to say thank you to all of you who wished me one. And to those who didn’t, it’s cool. I love all of you. Have a good day and week guys.
Love and God Bless†
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So..
Posted on October 22, 2007
Alright. Well, this is the first time i’ve had a blog on here so i’m still trying to figure stuff out :*). Sorry for the delay to those that want me to write already, or who have looked and found nothing written yet. But I’ll try to have things under control and settled as soon as I can. I have most of it figured out but not all of it (not about in terms of writing of course ha). Well anyway, until then, please bear with me , thanks.
Love You All and God Bless.†
- Roxanne<3
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